Bonsai!!!

birthday dinner was great. i had all the people most important to me at one table (and no one faught!) :)

we went to a really nice habachi resturant. the cook put on a pretty good show, and was able to trick my mom a couple times. when its your birthday they turn on disco lights and a recording of some birthday type song and i got a sparkeler. its just something small to make you feel a little special on your birthday.

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its been a couple years since a had a nice birthday, probably about 2. but this year ment much more to me. it showed the huge diffrence a year in recovery can make. last year i went nuts around this time... some how over a few months i maniged to temperarily break up with steve, alienate all my friends, get my car taken away, drop out of college, and make some other mistakes.

i actually remeber that last year i spent the better part of the day crying and fighting with my dad.

now my life is completely diffrent. i picked my self up, finally. i guess i realised it was time to grow up. as cliche as it is, i got sick and tired of being sick and tired. im now back in school (and passed my first college class!), in a really stable place with steve, have earn the trust/respect of my family and friends, and i cant even tell you all the ways my personality has changed. it feels really nice to actually have something to celebrate.

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so i went to a fellow addicts funeral today. it was incredibly sad. if there was any good to what happened, it would be that it reminds all of us that if we go out, we may not make it back.